After a long deliberative process, I finally decided on my title for this Spring/Summer’s season of training! As you may recall, I like to title my summer training with a unique, wholly original themed title to focus my posts and guide my training. There was great debate in F.M.S. headquarters this year but, in the end, creativity and alliteration won out.
Introducing (drum roll, please)…the Summer of Speed 2012!
That’s right, that’s my title for this year. Long time readers will no doubt feel shafted. You’ve seen this tired old theme before – specifically during Summer of Speed and Summer of Speed II. But if you are still reading this after all the insults I’ve thrown your way over the years, I feel like you are pretty much going to keep reading anyhow and your feelings no longer matter. Yes, drink the sweet, sweet recycled theme. Also, your outfit is ill fitting and what did you do to your hair?
Before I get to my ALL IMPORTANT GOALS for SoS12, a few things to note about the title: First, look (!), alliteration NOT involving a day of the week! That’s right neither ‘Summer’ nor ‘Speed’ are days of the week yet still share a common first letter! Neat trick, huh? I like to think it’s these kinds of touches that differentiate this blog from all of the others.
Second, while you may think “how lame of Nitmos to keep reusing his old blog themes. How lazy is this guy?”, I’d like to point out that (A) I’m pretty lazy* and (B) I consider this an homage to 2008 rather than a rehash of originally unfunny content. When it is an “homage”, it makes the original seem like a “classic” and the repeat seem like a reverential bow. All classy.
Third, this SoS is sponsored! I mean not “officially” but close enough. I figure Tyler Perry sponsors everything else so he might as well sponsor this right? I think he needs to branch out from horrible TBS sitcoms, with very generous laugh tracks, anyhow. If he sues, then I’ll sue right back. I’ve seen Meet the Browns. I'm safe.
Goals? Goals! There are some….ALL IMPORTANT GOALS:
· Beat 1:26:37 in the Half Marathon. Set a PR.
· Beat 5:20 in the One Mile Time Trial summer non-invitational race series.
· Not blow out my knee in the trail Dances with Dirt race. Be van sweaty with other men.**
· Continue my streak of summer nights where I utter the phrase “please leave Daddy alone in the dark with his bottle.”
I’d like to set a 5k and 10k PR but that fact is that I may spend more of my time this year trying to get faster at longer distances rather than faster at shorter distances. That’s the long and short of it. But, if I enter a 5k or 10k, then I would instantly be trying to PR those races. That’s how we roll here…hellbound for crushing failure…set up for success like a condemned man on scaffolding.
I look forward to a lot of miles this summer. I expect to be mainly dehydrated most days with mild to moderate kidney damage come September. But I’m rich in kidneys: I have TWO fully functioning ones! One can be sacrificed for 10 seconds off the ole half marathon time. That’s why Oprah gave us two!
That should take me right into Fall. I’m still working out my sponsorship for Fall training. I’ve been told flat out that I don’t have enough emo vampires and lame Nicholas Sparks love story plots on my training plan so the Twilight movies will not be participating. I don’t want to jinx it but we might be looking at “Fall Farness: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire”. Details coming soon.
Until then, enjoy your own Summer of Speed (or, your own wholly original title). You may announce it during your Monday Mash-Up, Tuesday Tidbits, Wednesday Words, Thursday Thoughts or Friday Feetures*** post. If you want, Tyler Perry will even sponsor it. I assume.
I’m poised on the scaffolding with my safety loop around my neck ready to burst through the door with an emphatic KER-THUNK. Let’s get this speed party started! Someone pull the lever.
*I’m going to update the look of this blog soon.
**Also known as “typical Friday night”.
***I have dibs on this name. Keep your hands off.
Happy Easter F.M.S. Originals and Newbies! Enjoy your Easter Bunny Hop Run or Bunny Race or Hoppy Run or Run for the Rabbit or whatever else your hometown is doing Sunday.