Thursday, January 26, 2012

You Get Some YakTrax, You Get Some YakTrax!

It’s giveaway time, Oprah style! Everyone look under their seat for their prize! What? No prize…just chewing gum and the Ghosts of Farts Past? Shame. I guess we’ll do it the old fashioned way: Random number generator.


YakTrax Pro


But I have MULTIPLE YakTrax to give away! So…

YOU get some YakTrax!
And YOU get some YakTrax!
And…

And that’s all. Two. Two YakTrax to giveaway. That is “multiple” according to Webster. Fortunately, that should cover half the F.M.S. audience so your odds are quite good. And two out of the four of you may live in warm climates anyhow. I guess I could split the pairs apart and give four INDIVIDUAL YakTrax (YakTrack?) away so everybody gets a little something. Sure, you would have only one for one foot but you’d still be covered against slip n’fall every other step. That’s 50% better than you had it before. That’s not half bad.

Haven’t heard of/used YakTrax? Well, this is a product I don’t mind pimping.* Unlike the laundry detergent I once struggled mightily to review– two separate times! – I actually use YakTrax and love them. You should go to the company website to get all of the specifics but, basically, it’s like having a few dozen tiny claws attached to the bottom of your feet to help you stay upright on those icy and snowy runs. Remember those little jagged follicles Spider-Man would use to climb a wall? Just like that but a touch bigger, coils instead of jagged follicles, and without the impossibly large codpiece. (Yeah, right, Tobey, in your dreams.)

I’ve used YakTrax for years. In the depressing snow swept wasteland that is mid-Michigan in winter, they’ve sure come in handy to keep my pace from a labored fast walk to an actual running stride. I can return home quicker to my modest dwelling to again yearn for the re-appearance of the sun…or suicide, whatever comes first. Of course, once I received a free pair, there’s been almost no snow to speak of around here. Right now I can see my lawn. My dead, brown, bird pecked lawn. I can see the poop my dog pooped back in the beginning of December. It’s whiter and fuzzier than the rest, that’s how I know. It’s just not the same when the kids make snowmen out of rotting dog feces.

I haven’t been able to use the new YakTrax outside yet but, soon, I will. Michigan won’t let a winter go by without at least a few donkey punches to the back of the head by way of 15 inch storms. Until then, I can only use them on the treadmill. But that’s not making Mrs. Nitmos too happy. Her belt is now “ventilated” (as I call it). There’s only so many times I can “tease” the dog by stepping on her ears with them. And, try this when you receive a pair, see how your friends react as you walk across their wood floors in them. Oh, it’s funny…some people just don’t like to laugh.

If you would like a pair, there are of course a few hoops for you to jump through.

1) Like YakTrax on Facebook.
2) Leave a comment here for the random number generator to select you.
3) If you win, be willing to provide me your name/mailing address/shoe size (sock size for you barefooters). If you’re concerned about giving that info away, don’t worry, a restraining order can be filed at any future time.

I guarantee that ONE pair will be given away randomly. The second pair may also…or I may choose to give it to the person with the most creative answer to the following question:

If you could embezzle money from a charity and never get caught, which charity would it be and why?

So, Good Luck! We are all counting on you.

You know what…I can’t have folks coming here and leaving empty handed. I recognize that some of you have no regional interest in running snow shoes because the very idea of snow confuses you. Here’s what I’m going to do…those of you that don’t win – or want - the YakTrak get a consolation prize: Free barefoot running shoes! That’s right…

YOU get some barefoot shoes.
And YOU get some barefoot shoes.
And YOU get some barefoot shoes…

The drawing will be done on Wednesday, February 1st at noon. Comment/Enter as often as you would like. What do I care?

Happy Yaking.

*Usual disclaimers apply: A pair given to me free in exchange for a mention on this blog. The use of the word “pimping” and, later, “codpiece” are all my doing, however. Also, in case any other companies are reading this, here's a short list of other products I don't mind pimping: treasury notes, non-Schlitz beer, mace (both medieval and modern), iPads, and codpieces.

59 comments:

T said...

Re: the charity. This is an easy one. I would embezzle money from the Arcus Foundation (http://www.arcusfoundation.org/). As you can see from their website, they are a charity dedicated to the joint missions of LGBT issues AND conserving/protecting the great apes and that's weird. I would then take the monies that I stole and donate to the HRC and the WWF.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Haley L. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Razz said...

those things feel weird on the treadmill.

Xenia said...

I'm going to hell for even thinking this. I'd embezzle from an alzheimer's charity because god knows they wouldn't remember it afterward.

Ticket to hell in hand!

David said...

Contest over. Xenia wins.

Shevaun said...

I'd just steal cookies from the Girl Scouts.

Elizabeth said...

Ah your other readers are much more clever than me. I like their charity embezzling ideas. Xenia's comment had me laughing. OK, so, does it have to be officially listed as a charity? Or can it be a group that accepts donations that they then use for charity? If so, then I would embezzle as much money as possible from the Klu Klux Klan and then donate the embezzled money to the arts and vocation programs of inner city public schools, particularly here in Philly.

Man, I could have used a pair of YaxTrax this past weekend! I "liked" them on facebook. :-)

Running In Boise said...

I am so gonna have to come back here later today to see the rest of the charity responses.

Danielle in Iowa in Seattle said...

I just dug out my trusty yak trax last week, as we got dumped with snow in Seattle. So I don't need a pair. If I win your little game, I will wait until the next snowstorm hits Seattle and sell them for twice their worth, as REI always sells out when we get a flake of snow. And then I will donate the money to Danielle's Moving to Ireland fund.

In other news, I have an interview in February on the UP. Yak Trax and heels work fine, right?

John said...

how 'bout a pair of Yak Traxs for the Polish guy. . .?

Viper said...

By barefoot shoes, I really hope you mean bare feet. Because I'm already a winner. Except, they aren't winterized ...

No YakTrax for me. I've already got one. So I fart in your general direction. Cheers!

kmr said...

Clever blog... and clever readers. I'm so glad to see that Yaktrax has a model with a strap over the foot. My old ones always fell off. Cheers...

ShutUpandRun said...

I would embezzle from the KKK. Because YES in fact they do exist. Bastards. I would use money to buy sheets for my BED.

Blyfinn said...

I would sooo steal from George Castanza's Human Fund. It always seemed a little shady and anyone who doesn't want to celebrate Festivis does not deserve to run a charity.

Mindy said...

I'm feeling defeated. Had a REALLY clever comment lost in a'word verification' tragedy. Can never be recaptured.

Liked on FB

Michael said...

I just "Liked" YakTrax at the link (easy, since I'm sure I would), and the charity thing is easy...Planned Parenthood.

Why?

Because even TRYING to plan parenthood is just an exercise in frustration....and that is before the kids even get here. Once they are here, the only reason we make plans is just out of morbid sense of curiosity as to how said children are going to screw them up.

Trent (Scott) Lorcher said...

I'm going classic Vegas!

I'd embezzle money from the Andre Agassi Foundation, a charity which has raised millions for inner-city kids. I'd take the money and bet it on one hand of black jack. If I won, I'd give the money back, plus half the winnings.

If I lost, I'd commit suicide by jumping off the Stratosphere or drinking a trashcan full of Las Vegas Marathon water.

By the way, the KKK is not a charity, even if they take donations and it's a shame that Haley feels it's necessary to use your humorous post as a vehicle for religious bigotry and KKK-like hatred.

I have no need for the shoes. It never snows here. I just wanted to participate.

TCHusker - Nate said...

Wow. Is PETA a charity? It's gotta be as much of a charity as the KKK or that LGBT/Wild Ape one (no racist group, sexual orientation, or great apes bigotry intended).

Anywho, now that I liked YakTrax and decided to embezzle money from PETA to fund factory farms for veal, please send me a pair of YakTrax. Mine are coming uncoiled and I need some new ones. Thank you.

Word Verification: pormak
Is that bad mac and cheese, or mac and cheese with pork?

JennyMac said...

Running in snow? This is why you are an uber athletic star. The only thing I want to do in snow is 1. slide down it on skis or 2. make a snow angel with my 5 year old.

Barefoot running shoes? Now that I could go for.

Have a great weekend!

Deb said...

I'd embezzle from Heifer International. This "charity" PRETENDS to give livestock to families in need, so that these poverty stricken families can use said livestock to generate income and thus develop self sufficiency. Sounds good, right? WRONG!! Because now I'm learning that these monsters are really just chopping the hooves off of poor innocent YAKS and selling these severed yak hooves to pampered American runners to improve their traction on snowy roads. This is freakin' unconscionable. I mean, they're YAKS, not llamas!!!!!

But this pampered American runner reeeally needs new Yak Trax, so PLEASE PICK ME!!! My coils are rusted and sprung, and the rubber has snapped in multiple places. I still run on 'em, though, 'cause I'm a cheap ass. And I'm doing a half marathon in late February, which is likely to be super snowy, so I NEED me some bloody, severed yak feet to keep me upright. I need them SO much that I am prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice and give you my home address.

Bambee said...

I don't have a witty answer to said charity question. But would love done YakTrax, especially after I lost 50% of last week's mileage to Seattle's "snowmageddon."

raulgonemobile said...

Those would be sweet. I'll throw my name into the hat.

The first thought I had regarding a charity was one of our political parties, but alas, they're technically not a charity. They sure want you to think they are, though...

Colleen said...

I liked them on Facebook :)

chrissie said...

I could've used yaktrax during the half I ran in Chicago yesterday! Instead, I have battle wounds - aka bruises on my hands and road rash on my @ss - from eating it on the ice...but it was a fun run!

I don't have a creative answer to the charity question, though I do love the alzheimer's answer above!

Mindy said...

You said enter as many times as we like, right?

Deb said...

So, um, hey! Happy Monday. This is just my pathetic way of increasing my odds that the random number generator will pick me.

Deb said...

I'm baaaack! Have I mentioned how much I neeeeed those Yak Trax? Damned lake effect snow dumped a foot on us today. The good thing was that it resulted in a snow day. The bad thing is that the roads are fairly treacherous. Only severed yak hooves can save me.

Deb said...

Isn't it noon on Wednesday, February 1st yet? GAWD!! Make time go faster!!!!!

Deb said...

I did mention that I have a snow day, yes? Meaning I can keep up this shameless nonsensical commenting pretty much ALL day long. You've been warned.

Deb said...

Lucky for you I have to go make dinner, then shovel off my porch roof. But I'll be back. And all the while I'm cooking and shoveling I'll be conjuring up even MORE inane comments to litter up your blog. It's your own fault, really, for allowing multiple comments. Let this be a lesson to you, mister.

Haley L. said...

You're right, Trent (Scott) Lorcher. I deleted the comment once I saw your response. It was a joke that was not meant to hurt anybody's feelings but clearly that was not the case based on your response. I have several LDS friends who know me and were amused not hurt but even if one person was offended then it needed to come down. I appologize.

Deb said...

Guess what tomorrow will be? Wednesday, February 1, that's what!!!!

Deb said...

It's like your readers don't even understand how probability works!!!!

Mindy said...

What do you mean Deb is the only one that took you up on multiple entries!?!? I was definitely the trailblazer there. I will be upset if she wins. Unless she wins one pair and I win the other. That would be fair.

Mindy said...

Also, I am a WI runner, and so I feel the pain every year with the snow/ice/wind chill/sleet. This year we've been spoiled, but still those trails are covered in and icy/muddy-ish mix.

And are word verification words really words? "gures"

Mindy said...

While Deb's off making dinner I guess I'll increase my odds a bit more.

DEB - I think we got this in the bag!!!

"caticous"

Mindy said...

And did I mention I'm getting a new puppy. An active puppy that will require exercise regardless of the weather?! Seems like those Yak Trax are pretty much a requirement. New puppy on a walk/run + ice/snow/sleet = possible injury/maiming/death. UNLESS I have some protection on those feet of mine.

"slesse"

Mindy said...

"guourop"

Hmm..don't see that one in Websters either.

Mindy said...

Ooh, finally a good word: PRIZAS

I think that means the prizas is mine!?

Enough? Alright. Unless Deb comes back and outdoes me.

Trent (Scott) Lorcher said...

Hayley:

Thank you for your classiness (I think that's a word). My feelings are fine. I, perhaps, overreacted.

Deb said...

Hey, back off Mindy! I NEED those Yak Trax!! :)

Deb said...

...which is really just my tactless way of saying, "Damn! I HATE competetion! It's ever so much more gratifying to just be given something without a fight. Kinda like those age group awards I "win" when I'm the only one in my age group."

Deb said...

So the word verification doodad said "bleencen" which I'm pretty sure is yak-talk for "We hereby bequeath our hooves to Deb."

Deb said...

And who is this "Mindy" anyhow? And how does she possess such a freakish knowledge of probability? Sounds like one of those dirty Vegas card counters to me...and since it doesn't even snow in Vegas she will NOT be needing my Yak Trax.

Deb said...

This is really Xenia's fault, actually. I was never successful at winning one of her Popeners, so now I'm EXTRA determined to get those Yak Trax.

Xenia said...

All right, Nitmos, if I'm still considered a 'winner' then I officially bequeath the Yak Traxs to Deb. Mostly because I'm afraid she'll track me down and shank me. There's also the fact that there's no snow in England (sod's law reacts in 3..2..1..) and she pretty much lives in Siberia and could actually use them, but mostly it's because of the shanking thing.

Deb said...

Xenia,

You ROCK!!!! And for the record, I would never shank you...hamstring you, maybe, to rip the Yak Trax off of you in a more benign manner, but NEVER shank you. You once gave me a map to find the tastiest gelato in all of Rome, therefore you are NOT on my shank list!!!!

Deb said...

And now I'm so obsessed that I'm commenting at work. PUHLEEZE just let it be noon, so this madness can end.

Mindy said...

Lucky for us all, I don't have to work today! So I have all the time in the world until noon.....

'toomish'

Mindy said...

Siberia? Shanking? Who is this Deb person anyway?

'belewate'

Mindy said...

Did somebody say Vegas?

Mindy said...

It's a little known fact that I actually discovered the phenomenon of probability.

Mindy said...

Your NASCAR post gave me a great idea. If I win, I'll make my husband shave the word 'Nitmos' in his back hair.

Everybody wins!

KMR said...

Okay, I'm re-entering, since you said it was really, really okay. Besides, I'm doing this on DIAL-UP (arggh... don't ask) so I should get some kind of a break, don't you think?

KMR said...

BTW, my last word verification was "feckstin." Yeah, I'm feckstin. Just sounds bad, doesn't it? Entry #3... I hope there are enough Yaktrax for me AND Deb AND Mindy.

KMR said...

11:57. Hm.

KMR said...

This is like Ebay -- bidding at the last possible moment.

kmr said...

And... last one!