Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas! Shitter Was Full!

You know the story…it’s Christmas Vacation month here at F.M.S!

Ellen: What are you looking at?
Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... and an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
Eddie: Shitter was full!
Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?


How could the final pre-Christmas quote be anything other than this?? It’d be criminal!

As this month has shown, there are many things to be learned from Christmas Vacation right down to this foul-mouthed one liner. No, it’s not that Randy Quaid really is crazy. Well, not just that anyhow.

Santa?

This is a deep and meaningful piece of the C.V. masterpiece. In this scene, Cousin Eddie symbolizes the Everyman…the regular, non-elite struggling in quiet desperation against his own PR goals. Not all of his yearly goals were met. I doubt he drank all of the Meister Brau he had planned. He’s collected a year’s worth of successes and failures (and parole violations) that need to be emptied in order to start fresh next year. In short, his shitter was full. As Lance Armstrong said, ‘it’s not about the poop’ (or something like that). It’s a metaphor for how we carry around the weight of a bad training experience, an injury or a poor race performance. Heck, some of us even carry around low expectations of our own abilities. We internalize and walk around with this baggage until it bogs us down until we can’t move…like if our heads have been sewn to the carpet.

Our shitters are full this time of year. You don’t want to carry that into the New Year so that it keeps hanging around like an unidentified lip fungus.

Grab some Meister Brau, open the spicket, and let a year’s worth of shit drain away. New race schedules will be written! New training plans executed! New PR’s to set…and yes, new disappointments to refill the shitter along the way.

While you’re hanging your stockings, drinking heavily, wrapping presents, drinking heavily and…drinking heavily, don’t forget Cousin Eddie’s sage advice:

EMPTY YOUR SHITTER

Like changing the smoke alarm batteries during Daylight Savings Time, Christmas is that time to check the shitters and reset mentally in preparation for a great 2011. If you learn one thing from the many wondrous, thought-provoking discussions we’ve had here at Feet Meet Street this year I hope it is this comment about shit. At the very least, I hope I brought a little profanity to your blog reading this fine winter day.

Merry Christmas To You and the Family!

Happy trails.

P.S. I’ll be back between Christmas and New Year’s for a final C.V. themed post. Stay tuned.

19 comments:

Marlene said...

You aways bring just the right of profanity and shit-talk to my blog-reading. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Viper said...

Wow, a profound reading of a crass scene. Happy Christmas to you, Mrs. Nitmos and the little Nitmosettes. Cheers!

aron said...

lol, wow just wow :)

Merry Christmas Nitmos!!!

Elizabeth said...

True words of wisdom. Merry Christmas!

Adam said...

I'd never trust meister brau. Coffee gets my shitter going just fine, thank you.

Besides, I'm a bud man, anyway.

Anne said...

Merry Christmas crazy man ;) :)
Love the pic of your daughter in the last post...very Mona Lisa...and just as beautiful :)

Vava said...

Right back atcha!

And I'll make sure to take my talents to South Beach before the year is out...

The Sean said...

where is that damned 'like' button??

Ainsley Drew said...

If only there were a way to prevent the shitter from becoming full in the first place.

On the plus side, Randy Quaid makes me look downright sane, tame, and full of fiber.

Happy Holidays, Nitmos. Here's to a smooth, milk of magnesia-soaked new year.

Razz said...

Looks like Quaid spruced himself up to "bat shit crazy" for his mugshot.

Stacie said...

Love your blog and love this post. Merry Christmas!!!

Keen Bean Company said...

Merry Christmas! Love your blog and am never gonna give up on Randy - he saved the world in Independence Day and all....

drea said...

Yep, Randy and his gal were arrested right here babe in glorious SB. He wasn't emptying the shitter but he was squatting :)

Aka Alice said...

I am a little less impressed with Randy Quaid as an actor now that I know that he wasn't really acting crazy all those years...he truly was crazy. It was just typecasting...

Nonetheless, excellent post. Merry Christmas Nitmos!

Beth said...

Merry Christmas! Thanks for all of the laughs!

Lauren said...

Interesting... lol

chia said...

Nice way to put it :-). One of my 2011 goals is to actually PUSH myself during races. I have this whole fear of not finishing that I end up taking it waaaay too slow. Finish line photos shouldn't be pretty, so I plan to replace the gleaming smile with a grimace of pain and maybe, just maybe, a steaming pile of vomit.

Now that's the spirit.

Happy holidays man!

Mamarunsbarefoot said...

That was great!!! Happy Holidays!

Psyche said...

Bwahahaha!! Love me some shitter metaphors. That was awesome, as are you:)).